Bark + Bite

Top 10 Songs in the US

1  MAROON 5 / ONE MORE NIGHT
- A song about sex with regrets. Sounds like Adam documented a one-night stand with his Voice co-star Christina Aguilera.

2  PSY / GANGNAM STYLE
- Psy is the biggest piece of Korean culture to storm America since Tae Kwon Do.

3  ONE DIRECTION / LIVE WHILE WE'RE YOUNG
- This song is drier than toast but this is like 5 Biebs for the price of 1, so the little girls love it.

4  FUN. / SOME NIGHTS
- If the men of fun. have 1/3 of the staying power of their hit songs in the bedroom...

5  TAYLOR SWIFT / WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER
- Isn't Taylor a bit young to be taking cues from Cher from Clueless? This sounds like something she'd write.

6  TAYLOR SWIFT / RED
- Blue. You're it, Taylor.

7  JUSTIN BIEBER FEAT BIG SEAN / AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME
- Big Sean probably doesn't know what to do with the barrels of cash the Beliebers are earning him buy racking up on the digital downloads for this track.

8  ADELE / SKYFALL
- She's baaaaaacckkkkk!

9  PINK / BLOW ME (ONE LAST KISS)
- Can we blow one last kiss to this old ass song?

10 ALEX CLARE / TOO CLOSE
- You probably heard this song in a commercial before it made its way to radio.

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 TAYLOR SWIFT / WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER
- That crossover fever is in full effect. Nashville who? Memphis what?

2 FLO RIDA / WHISTLE
- At this rate, Flo Rida is on track to catch up to Rihanna and Katy Perry in no time.

3 ELLIE GOULDING / LIGHTS
- This groovin' jam is like Mega Man meets Soul Train.

4 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- Carly Rae gets so hot and bothered easily: "Your skin was showing." Guess who'll be having her bachelorette party at Chippendale's?

5 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- Katy Perry's name can probably sell cans of tuna, given her winning streak. Chicken of the Sea: Teenage Dream edition has a nice ring to it.

6 FUN. / SOME NIGHTS
- Anyone else getting "Bohemian Rhaspody" vibes from this intro?

7 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- Maybe Adam needs to look into fireproofing his bridges in the future. Just saying.

8  JUSTIN BIEBER FEAT BIG SEAN / AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME
- Who knew that dubstep and teenage heartache went well together like pancakes and syrup?

9 MAROON 5 / ONE MORE NIGHT
- Between this and No Doubt's single, it's nice to hear reggae pop from white folks again.

10 DAVID GUETTA FEAT SIA / TITANIUM
- Is the door open for Sia to break into the U.S. market now?

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 FLO RIDA / WHISTLE
- Um, maybe it's time we surrender to this Flo Rida reign. For real, he's about to start racking up more #1s than Jay-Z.

2 ELLIE GOULDING / LIGHTS
- So does Ellie Goulding have any plans to leverage this single into some actual visibility?

3 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- This song had to be written by Swedes cause that "before you came into my life, I missed you so bad" bit only makes sense to Muzzy.

4 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- Good morning to you too, Katy.

5 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- Just hang up already.

6 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- Something tells us that Facebook status changes provoke violent reactions in Gotye.

7 DAVID GUETTA FEAT SIA / TITANIUM
- This is the perfect way to wrap up the TTT era.

8 FUN. / SOME NIGHTS
- Folk pop is taking over. Get your renaissance festival on.

9 PHILLIP PHILLIPS / HOME
- Still haven't built up the f**ks to give about this song.

10 RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- He's in the Djibouti feeding orphans, okay, Rihanna? Now stop asking.

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- This is the official theme song of the Teletubbies.

2 ELLIE GOULDING / LIGHTS
- Adele's younger, skinnier, less depressed British sister has arrived.

3 FLO RIDA / WHISTLE
- Flo Rida is so sneaky. He's pulled off another massive pop tune about oral sex.

4 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- This sound likes it came straight from Neverland. In fact, Katy would make a great Tinkerbell.

5 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- Wake us up when this is over.

6 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- Ditto.

7  RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- This is the perfect way to wrap up the TTT era.

8 DAVID GUETTA FEAT SIA / TITANIUM
- This is the best "It Gets Better" track out of all the schlop released last year.

9 PHILLIP PHILLIPS / HOME
- Country song by American Idol singer. Do not care.

10 PINK / BLOW ME (ONE LAST KISS)
- The bitterest bitch in pop music never lets men off easy, does she?

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- The Illuminati claims another one.

2 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- This song is stuck in the top ten like a quarter in a payphone.

3 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- After this many weeks on the charts, the person has gone from somebody you used to know to somebody you know damn well again, Gotye.

4 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- Just when you thought Katy couldn't squeeze one more drop of water out of that Teenage Dream sponge.

5 ELLIE GOULDING / LIGHTS
- It's refreshing that this song sounds like it could be the soundtrack to a Final Fantasy game. Gamers/geeks unite.

6 RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- Rihanna usually seems like an act now, ask questions later kind of girl but she's pulling a Spanish inquisition on this joint.

7 DAVID GUETTA FEAT SIA / TITANIUM
- Should've saved this one for the Iron Man 3 soundtrack, no?

8 FUN. FEAT JANELLE MONAE / WE ARE YOUNG
- This song's so old that it's collecting social security.

9 NICKI MINAJ / STARSHIPS
- Soon to be replaced by the equally club-friendly "Pound the Alarm."

10 USHER / SCREAM
- The "awooo baby, baby" parts sound like a dog pound during a full moon.

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- Never has something so sinister sounded so sweet.

2 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- Maroon 5 has roared back to life by going more pop. What does this mean for No Doubt's return?

3 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- Sometimes a song really just sells itself. This is one of those songs.

4 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- Take an Ambien and call it a night then, Katy.

5 RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- The goat belt on the chorus to this Safari jam is such a guttural release of the beast within.

6 ELLIE GOULDING / LIGHTS
- Is Ellie La Roux 2.0? Cause she kind of sounds like it.

7 FUN. FEAT JANELLE MONAE / WE ARE YOUNG
- This song's like peanut butter, we can't get it out of our mouths.

8 NICKI MINAJ / STARSHIPS
- Jem and the Holograms have penned Nicki Minaj a very stern "pay homage" letter as a result of this song.

9 DAVID GUETTA FEAT SIA / TITANIUM
- The pressure is on for Sia to start showing her mug a bit and doing a performance or two.

10 USHER / SCREAM
- Max Martin is the evilest music genius ever. He must have a money bin at this point that he swims in.

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- The funny thing is that you don't have to play this song backwards to hear the devilish messages embedded in it. It's naturally evil.

2 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- If Adam's sick of hearing love songs, then he should know how we feel about hearing "Payphone" one more time.

3 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- Ok, we're reaching level 5 clinger here with this one. Let go and let live, y'all.

4 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- If Mother Goose had an ear pop music...she'd disown this sleepy mess.

5 RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- Dancehianna has got your number this summer. Get ready to boogie.

6 ELLIE GOULDING / LIGHTS
- Another British import lands softly in the U.S. market. Who's next, the Queen?

7 FUN. FEAT JANELLE MONAE / WE ARE YOUNG
- It's about to be last call for fun. and this song. It's been one hell of a ride.

8 NICKI MINAJ / STARSHIPS
- What would it take to get one of Nicki's rap songs in the top ten of the Hot 100?

9 ONE DIRECTION / WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
- Wanting someone "desperately" only works if you're scawny, long-haired, whiny teen idol.

10 USHER / SCREAM
- Nooooooo! We're rewarding another paint-by-the-numbers dance track by Usher? Life ain't fair.

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100

Top 10 Songs in the US

1 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- Hanson, all is forgiven. Please come back.

2 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- Extend Gotye and Kimbra's visas. They clearly aren't going anywhere for a while.

3 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- Do the other guys in Maroon 5 do anything at this point?

4 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- Those Illuminati whispers sound crazy, but Katy Perry's unstoppable string of hits kind of makes you wonder...

5 FUN. FEAT JANELLE MONAE / WE ARE YOUNG
- The torch is finally starting to dim on this one.

6 ONE DIRECTION / WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
- You know what this song needs to get a second wind? A co-sign from Taylor Swift.

7 NICKI MINAJ / STARSHIPS
- Lil' Kim's favorite beach jam just won't quit.

8 RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- Rihanna needs a GPS and Foursquare so she can keep track of her man.

9 FLO RIDA FEAT SIA / WILD ONES
- Even Casper the Friendly Ghost makes more public appearances than Sia.

10 JUSTIN BIEBER / BOYFRIEND
- Beliebers were sadly outdone by Bieber's own artist, Carly Rae Jepsen. The student has quickly become the master.

SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100