Bark + Bite

The masticated review of Brandy's "Put It Down"

Lost in the shadows of the unexpected death of Whitney Houston was the return of Brandy and Monica to the scene. Their duet, "It All Belongs to Me," was set for a primetime debut at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party. But once Whitney passed, it all seemed kind of unimportant.

It didn't help that "It All Belongs to Me" was a largely dated, forgettable attempt at the "kick him to the curb, girl" anthem that has served so many female R&B artists well in the past.

But after a tumultuous few years in music purgatory, has Brandy finally found her way back to the promised land with this Bangladesh-produced, Chris Brown-assisted single?

Listen to Brandy's new single below

The masticated review of Usher's "Scream"

Like Rihanna and Chris Brown, Usher is a black artist forced to straddle two genres: Pop and R&B. So when his excellent, Diplo-produced R&B electro ballad "Climax" launched his upcoming album, Looking for Myself, we all knew that the pop single couldn't be too far behind.

Not that we necessarily had anything to worry about, since Usher does do pop well, as evidenced by "OMG" and "Without You." But then again, he also does pop badly, as seen by the dance-by-numbers track "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love Again."

So where does his latest pop effort, "Scream," fall? Somewhere in the middle, but leaning slightly toward the no bueno zone.

Listen to Usher's new single below

The masticated review of Jennifer Lopez's "Dance Again"

Jennifer Lopez is clearly courting the deja vu gods with her new single, "Dance Again," which tries oh so very hard to recreate the magic of her comeback single "On the Floor."

She's reassembled everything from "On the Floor" pretty much, including guest rapper Pitbull and hit producer RedOne, but she's missing that winning sample that she had in "On the Floor."

Samples have played a curious role in Jenny's biggest hits. When she gets it right ("I'm Real" remix, "On the Floor") her songs go off the charts. Can she win again without the hot sample on "Dance Again"?

The masticated review of Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend"

Justin Bieber is a "Baby," no more. With his new single, "Boyfriend," Bieber is calling on his inner Michael Jackson as he reaches down below and grabs his manhood while professing to be a lover, provider and more to his potential main squeeze.

But there is a weird man-boy complex going on here as the Biebs lurches from boasting about laying it down on his boo to flying around like Buzz Lightyear. Which is it Justin? Are you ready for the R-rated scene or are you still stuck with the sippy-cup drinking G crowd?

After chewing on Justin Bieber's new offering, here are a few strengths and weaknesses.

The masticated review of Nicki Minaj's "Roman in Moscow"

All the Barbz and Ken dollz who were relishing the hip pop of Nicki Minaj's "Super Bass," have a seat. Roman is back in the building.

On the heels of the recent announcement that the Young Money femcee would be dropping her sophomore album on Valentine's Day, Minja is ready to whet appetites with this blitzkrieg of insults, debauchery and tom foolery. The good news for those who may be underwhelmed is that Nicki calls this the "wackest song on Roman Reloaded".

After chewing on Nicki's new offering, here are a few strengths and weaknesses.

The masticated review of Drake's "Make Me Proud"

Here's another duo who'd made for an interesting Watch The Throne-style pairing: Drake and Nicki Minaj. They swerve from a collegial brother and sister relationship to a (mostly one-sided) fairytale love story. Drake's pretty much ice water while Nicki's a spicy Cajun jumbo, but opposites attract and their talents complement each other.

The duo have appeared on each other's debut albums ("Moment 4 Life" on Nicki's and "Up All Night" on Drake's) and it looks like the tradition is continuing with "Make Me Proud," the latest single from Drake's sophomore album, Take Care. The song, Drake said, is meant to be a feel-good anthem for women in the same vein as his breakthrough single, "Best Thing I Ever Had." But really, it feels more like a love letter to Nicki Minaj. And Nicki doesn't really thank him for it on the record, she just proceeds to write, sign and deliver her own love letter to herself.

Poor Drake. He's the Charlie Brown of hip hop. Will he ever get to kick the ball?

The masticated review of Rihanna's "We Found Love"

If Rated R was the equivalent of the dark ages in Rihanna's world, and LOUD her renaissance, then it's hard to say what her yet-to-be-named sixth album will be. The industrial revolution? The post-modern era? The release of her latest single, "We Found Love," is sending all kinds of mixed signals. It's a synthy, frothy slice of angel food cake, but the imagery is stark, tom boyish and a little hardened.

The lyrics to "We Found Love" touch on this dark cloud hanging over RiRi as she proclaims that she was able to find love in a "hopeless place." What's that hopeless place, exactly? It's hard not to draw parallels to that incident in her life here. Especially since Chris Brown made sure to favorite her tweet mentioning precisely this line. (He's since deleted this of course).

After chewing on Rihanna's new single, here are the strengths and weaknesses of the song.

The masticated review of Beyonce's "Best Thing I Never Had"

When it comes to breaking up, Beyonce doesn't do so lightly. Her relationships end in spectacular fireworks, with Madam Sasha Fierce swiveling her neck and fiercely walking out of her ex's life, stomping on his self-esteem in the process.

Beyonce's latest single from her upcoming album, 4, is the play cousin of her acoustic guitar-led kiss off "Irreplaceable." The instrumental is light and frothy, but the vocals are full of grunts and growls from the newly crowned "King B."

After chewing on Beyonce's "Best Thing I Never Had" for a while, these are the song's strengths and weaknesses.