Bark + Bite

Hollywood Divorce

As we all know, nothing lasts in Hollywood. Not money, not fame and certainly not marriages. The latest brouhaha Hollywood divorce is the A-Rod and Cynthia Rodriguez break-up. Unfortunately, Madonna and Lenny Kravitz have found themselves entangled in this messy web. This CBS clip breaks down the numbers game though for the Rodriguez split. They talk about millions of dollars the way I talk about pennies. Scary.

Cougars on the prowl: Sharon Stone and Madonna

Watch out, fellas. These two maneaters teamed up for some photo ops at the Cannes Film Festival. These should've been required to wear signs around their necks that said, "Beware of Cougar." Check out the footage below.

Madonna and Mike Tyson sure make for an odd couple

What do Madonna and Mike Tyson have in common? Uh....they were both have gaps in their teeth? That's about all I can come up with.

Apparently, Madonna is feeling a kindred spirit with the former heavyweight champion and she reached out to him recently. Madonna has been doing the premiere rounds for her new documentary on Malawi, "I Am Because We Are," and she was recently at the Cannes Film Festival. Mike was also there, pushing his documentary "Tyson." Well, Madonna bumped into him, they had a good conversation and she asked for a private screening of his documentary. (What a snob, she can't watch the movie with the rest of the peons?) I guess at the screening, the two really hit it off and Mike offered her a favor in return and said he would join her in Malawi to promote HIV/AIDS awareness.

Wow. I don't know about y'all, but I don't think Mike Tyson is the person I'd want speaking on the issue of HIV/AIDS. I can picture it now, "If you don't abstain from sex or wear a condom, I'll eat your children." Yikes.

Madonna talks Mariah, Malawi and Live Nation with the AP

It looks like the Madonna and the Mariah fans will have to put their beef to rest. Madonna admits in this AP interview that she likes Mariah and is a fan of her song "Touch My Body." This is certainly a 180 from the Madonna who said she would kill herself if she were Mariah. Part of me thinks Madonna's just a lot more PC now and she's feigning admiration for Mariah. But then again, maybe they have a cougar bond. After all, they're both married to much younger men. Cougars unite!

It just isn't the same without Justin

Madonna performed at a private concert in Paris, and unfortunately, she tried to do "4 Minutes" solo. It didn't turn out too nice.

Madonna and Justin perform "4 Minutes" at the Roseland Ballroom

Madonna got her cougar on and dry humped Justin Timberlake onstage during her show at the Roseland Ballroom in NY. Madonna's live performances are always a bit underwhelming because her live voice kind of sucks. (Not that her recorded voice is anything to write home about either...) The choreography was the typical stiff, posing style that Madonna enjoys. Poor Justin. He could dance circles around the old gal but he has to play nice and do her lame old lady choreography. It's like being stuck doing the hokey pokey when you can break it down like a mothaf**ker to "Crank Dat Soulja Boy."

Mariah isn't paying attention to the imitators

Whatever, Leona Lewis. You might have the #1 single in the US right now, but Mariah Carey isn't fazed. So what if the music critics are swooning over your soft rock ballads and your big voice. "Bleeding Love" is no "Vision of Love," alright?

Mimi has made it clear in several interviews that she's neither threatened nor impressed by any of these youngsters (Leona Lewis, in particular) because no one can EVER be Mimi. She also took what could be perceived as a swipe at Madonna, or Jennifer Lopez, by saying, "Critics have compared me to so many people who are not really singers, and they're certainly not writers." Madonna and Mariah have a history of engaging in cat fights. As for J.Lo, she was guided by Tommy Mattola, Mariah's ex-husband and J. Lo was accused of stealing the sample Mariah was going to use for one of her songs on the "Glitter" soundtrack. Tragic, I know.

Showbiz Banana! has the article below.

Plus, here's an interview Mariah did with the BBC talking about how she's not checkin' for Leona Lewis.

Madonna's '4 Minutes' is really deep

Madonna has a way of making things seem far more important than they really are. Britney Spears, Kabbalah bracelets, pilates, Dennis Rodman, and so on and so forth.

As most people should know by now, Madonna's teamed up with the most in-demand production/songwriting duo, Timberlake and Timbaland, for her new single "4 Minutes." When I heard the song, I just thought it was a song about dancing and enjoying life as if the world was about to end. The 4 minutes of course, being an allusion to the average length of a song. But whoa, apparently Madonna is trying to wake up people's social conscience with this song. Huh?

Perhaps if we analyze some of the lyrics from the song we'll see what Madonna's saying:

Madonna:
I want somebody to speed it up for me then take it down slow
There's enough room for both

Justin:
Girl I can hit it back just gotta show me where it's at
Are you ready to go? (Are you ready to go?)

Hmm....sounds like Madonna's trying to get her cougar on with Justin, but social conscience and global awareness? Not quite.

Watch Madonna's thesis on her song "4 Minutes" courtesy of the AP.