Bark + Bite

Blast from the Past: Da Brat

Call off the hounds! Put away the missing person posters! Stop printing those "FREE DA BRAT!" tees! Newsflash, ladies and gentlemen. Da B-R-A-T is out! No, not out of the closet (yet), she's out of jail...on work release. There's always a catch.

Jermaine Dupri's former right hand (wo)man made a quick appearance on JD's YouTube show "Living the Life." Even though Brat's been in prison for nearly three years, the rapper was let out early thanks to the work release program, which has her making windows. Hey, it's a job. Even though it's been years since Da Brat was last seen publicly and despite the fact that she is now a 36-year-old woman, she still insists on dressing like a Rocawear, Sean John, FUBU-loving 16-year-old boy. Step your game up, Shawntae. Ellen DeGeneres is single-handedly killin' it for the butches and you're still stuck on that Totally Krossed Out look. Move on.

In her brief appearance, Da Brat mumbles a line about "too much grass" having grown while she was in prison. Is that a swipe at the current state of female hip hop or a comment on the state of her abandoned and neglected career? Honestly, both explanations work. And just in case you were wondering, no she didn't shout out her former lover David Gest. So much for thug lovin'. How cruel.

Watch the long lost Da Brat on Jermaine's show

Bonnie Pointer unleashes a big ol' bag of crazy

Where in the world has Bonnie Pointer been all of our lives and why doesn't she have a BET or VH1 reality show? Bonnie Pointer was an original member of the famous 70s/80s disco/funk group The Pointer Sisters, best known for their hits like "Jump (For My Love)," but she split from the group early on, carving out a solo career. Unfortunately, she hasn't released an album since 1984. 

From time to time though, she reunites with the remaining members of the group to collect some checks. While donning a tangled, Kool-Aid red wig and a dizzying set of crazy eyes, Bonnie Pointer rambled incoherently at the Multicultural Motion Picture Association Awards and treated the world to a snippet of her new song "Drop Those Pants." It's like Gen. Larry Platt and Frankie Lyons rolled into one glorious, bleating goat. The whole thing is reality TV gold just waiting to be unearthed.

Watch Bonnie Pointer let loose below.

Blast from the Past: 3LW assaults Christmas and takes Santa to the hood

There are some songs better left unsung. 3LW had a limited run in the music industry, but they somehow managed to have all the drama and none of the success of Destiny's Child. They went through a volatile, unpleasant member change, were accused of familial favoritism and like DC they cobbled together a subpar holiday album in an attempt to pull together some coins from their (featherweight) fan base. To be clear, Destiny's Child holiday album was crap. But 3LW's "Naughty or Nice" was a hot, steaming, flys-swirling-around-it, hold-your-nose-and-breathe-through-your-mouth pile of crap.

The biggest offender of the set? "Christmas in the Hood." Listen to it below.

Blast from the Past: Janet Jackson's "I Want You"

In the aftermath that was nipplegate, the Kanye West-produced single "I Want You" simply got lost in the wash. The starry-eyed, Motown-inspired ballad had Janet vulnerable and lovesick, boo hooing for her lover's attention.

The video for "I Want You" received little rotation. MTV had Miss Nasty blacklisted after the Super Bowl incident and save for its premiere on BET, it didn't get much love there either. The video follows Janet from the block as she strolls through the hood, on her way to meet her boo. Janet walks through the grocery store, rides a bus and hollas at her girls. See, she's just like us. Watch the video for "I Want You" below.

Unfortunately, the last 30 seconds of the video are marred by the appearance of Janet's then real boyfriend, Jermaine Dupri. Now that Janet has officially confirmed that things are over between her and Jermaine in Harpers' Bazaar, what do you think Janet thinks when sees the last 30 seconds of this video now? Vote in the poll below.

Blast from the Past: Saved by the Bell

Remember when as a child, your TV watching highlight every week was on Saturday morning? You got cartoons on all the broadcast channels and then when you got older, you had your very own soap opera: Bayside High's "Saved By the Bell." Zack, Kelly, Lisa, Screech, Jessie and Slater. Who could forget 'em?

Well apparently everyone did. TV Guide caught up with some of the stars and put together a "WHERE ARE THEY NOW" special. So where are these former teen stars in life and in their careers? Believe it or not, Zack Morris (Mark Paul Gosselaar) and Mario Lopez have made it out the best. They're both still working actors in the entertainment industry. Kelly's reel is a graveyard of cancelled TV shows and if you saw Celebrity Fit Club, you already know Screech's life is a train wreck.  Jessie (Elizabeth Burkley) is throwing in her lot with reality TV after "Showgirls" fubarred her professional acting career. Who knew that what worked for Demi Moore wouldn't work for lil' "I'm So Excited!" Jessie?

Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies), sadly, has fallen on hard times. The last thing I remember seeing her in was Dru Hill's "These Are the Times" music video which was way back in '98. Unfortunately, these days Lark is about as relevant as an 8-track player. Sucks. But at least she's still a beauty. Maybe she can apply to be director of the Miss California pageant. I hear there's an opening....

Watch these videos and reminisce with Bayside High.

Blast from the Past: Mya gets recognized

Mya, surprisingly, attracted paparazzi attention recently when she walked in to a New York to get her hurr did. Mya hasn't been a high profile celeb in the spotlight since her collaboration with Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim and Pink on "Lady Marmalade." That's not to say she didn't release music, she did. But the albums flopped hard and now she's a Japan-only artist. FAIL.

Watch the video below.

Can some talented producer resurrect Mya's career?

Blast from the Past: Coolio

Remember "Gangsta's Paradise"? Wasn't that the jam back in the '90s? Well, in case you were wondering, Coolio is still alive. He's just no relevant. And yup, he's still got them wack-ass tarantula braids. Check out this paparazzi video from Pacific Coast News of Coolio poking around in Venice Beach, Calif. Some people were even charitable enough to ask the washed up rapper for his autograph. They better be die-hard Coolio fans cause that autograph wouldn't fetch more than 25 cents on eBay.

Blast from the Past: Lou Ferrigno aka The Incredible Hulk

NOTHING CAN STOP THE HULK!

Remember the original guy who played the Incredible Hulk in the late '70s/early '80s? He looked stupid as hell in that green body paint and caveman wig, didn't he? Well, he doesn't look that much more ridiculous than the over CGI-ified Hulks of today.

But man, doesn't that nostalgia make you think warmly of him? Well that guy was Lou Ferrigno and nope, he hasn't dropped off the face of the earth. He's back in the fitness/body building world for the most part, but he's landed a role in an upcoming movie, "I Love You, Man," starring Jason Segel. Take a look at the old Hulk in action in his new flick and remember the green-shaded, fist-pounding, brick wall-bustin' glory days.