Bark + Bite

The Spirit Indestructible: How did it all go so wrong for Nelly Furtado?

The news of the sales count for Nelly Furtado's latest album The Spirit Indestructible must have hit Nelly fans like a ton of bricks. Then again, there obviously aren't that many Nelly fans left to begin with, because according to SoundScan sales, she only sold 5,731 copies of her new album.

This is heartbreaking. Nelly's last English-language album, 2006's Loose, was a blockbuster. It sold 219,000 copies the first week and went on to sell roughly 2 million copies in the U.S. alone. The gap between the first-week sales of Loose and The Spirit Indestructible is not just a drop in record sales, it's an evaporation of a fan base.

Yes, record sales have been on the decline in the industry for some time, but there's no sales climate in which it's acceptable for a major-label artist to post numbers like that during the first week. Not after the label has dropped serious cash and resources pushing three singles ("Big Hoops," "The Spirit Indestructible" and "Parking Lot") that were basically declared dead on arrival.

Some might try to argue that Nelly would've been better off if she had paired up with Timbaland. Their chemistry in 2006 was undeniable, but given Timbaland's recent struggles with landing hits of his own, that's probably not necessarily the case in 2012.

Others might point out that Nelly's disappearance from the English-language pop scene for 6 years essentially made her irrelevant to today's crowd. Perhaps, but Nelly has always taken roughly 4-year breaks between albums. Alicia Keys also takes lengthy breaks between her albums and she just scored a hit with her comeback single "Girl on Fire". So, no, Nelly's absence alone doesn't explain the drop-off.

Bruno Mars preps new single "Locked Out of Heaven" for Oct. 1 premiere

The wait is over, fellow Hooligans. Bruno Mars has marked Oct. 1 as the date of his return with his new single, "Locked Out of Heaven."

Bruno announced the single's impending release with a teaser video and he also invited fans to submit questions for a Google+ Hangout and live chat immediately following the premiere. All you have to do is tweet with the hashtag #FollowTheDragon.

Check out the teaser for Bruno's new single, below

Bruno Mars celebrates his manhood in Funny or Die clip

Always willing to poke fun at himself in the name of self-deprecation, Bruno Mars pays homage to his awesome manliness in an amusing clip for Funny or Die.

Set to the tune of Salt 'N' Pepa's '90s hit "Whatta Man," Bruno Mars runs through a litany of hyper masculine archetypes, including a spy, cowboy, ballplayer and an arm wrestling champion.

Watch the video from Funny or Die below

Frank Ocean brings his quiet storm to SNL

After gaining national attention with his spotlight performance at the 2012 MTV VMAs, Frank Ocean continues his national TV circuit tour with an appearance on NBC's SNL.

But Frank didn't come alone. He brought John Mayer along and he accompanied the Odd Future star during both of his performances. But John really got his own spotlight with his guitar solo during "Pyramids."

Frank's set paid homage to his nerd origins, as it was littered with arcade games from his childhood. His outfit could best be described as homely. The enormously baggy sweater definitely won't land Frank on GQ's list of best-dressed men.

The performances themselves were low energy, as Frank clung closely to the mic for most of them. But his voice was 100 percent on. His falsetto never wavered during "Thinkin' Bout You" and he soared during "Pyramids."

It's just a shame that he didn't incorporate the first part of "Pyramids" somehow, as that's perhaps the most uptempo song on his album.

Check out Frank Ocean's SNL performances below

Brandy puts it down at V103's For Sisters Only concert

As the release date for Brandy's next album Two Eleven nears, we're finally starting to get more and more live performances. The amazing thing is that Brandy has really been putting in work. Her stagecraft is spectacular now and her confidence is on full blast.

We've seen her slay her lead single "Put It Down" a few times, but Brandy really knocked it out the park with a stunning performance of her second single, "Wildest Dreams" at V103's For Sisters Only concert.

Even Kelly Rowland couldn't contain her excitement.

Photo: Watching at @4everbrandy KILL the stage! SO proud of her! (Taken with Instagram) tmblr.co/ZIFdGyTSYjdl

— KELENDRIA ROWLAND (@KELLYROWLAND) September 15, 2012

Check out the performances from V103's For Sisters Only below

The softer side of Chris Brown

Well, perhaps a leopard can change its spots after all.

Chris Brown and his team are on a tear, trying to recast the controversial R&B star as a really nice guy. (Hint: Maybe get him to remove a few of his many tattoos)

They've even decided to come at the domestic violence angle indirectly by having him volunteer at the Jenessee Center, a domestic violence shelter for women and their children.

He recently let Extra TV film his activities and the center and he spoke on camera about his motivations for working with the Jenessee Center.

Watch Chris Brown talk about his work with the organization below

2012 MTV VMAs: This show has lost its mojo

There's no easy way to put this, so let's get straight to the point: The 2012 MTV Video Music Awards sucked. Badly. Real badly.

It's not completely MTV's fault, because it did have to go up against the Democratic National Convention and President Obama. But that's no excuse for what was a night of no surprises, unwarranted rewards and all-around disappointments.

What disappointments, you say? Let's start with the opener, Rihanna. For some godforsaken reason, she has decided that we need one more single from Talk That Talk and she's decided it's gonna be "Cockiness." But the performance she put together for "Cockiness" was nothing but cooch pats and lazy two-steps.

The energy was low for a show opener, and Rihanna's idea of a "surprise" was bringing out A$AP Rocky, who promptly helped himself to a handful of ass. Rihanna seemingly approved; no word on how Chris Brown felt about it though.

The night was supposed to belong to Frank Ocean. After all, he completely cleared his schedule so he could perform at the MTV VMAs. But all we got was a timid, restrained, campside performance of "Thinking About You." Frank is hardly a spectacle kind of performer, but he could've chosen a less sleepy single, like oh, say, "Pyramids" or "Lost." And with all of the shrubbery, low lighting and stage props, Frank looked more like he wanted to disappear than stand out. So Frank's star-making moment was more mehworthy than noteworthy.

While everyone freaks over Nicki Minaj's Mitt Romney line, let's appreciate how amazing "Mercy" is

Nicki Minaj got tongues wagging when her feature on Lil' Wayne's Dedication 4 mixtape hit the web. Teaming up with Weezy for a Young Money take on G.O.O.D. Music's "Mercy," Nicki proclaims that she's "a Republican, votin' for Mitt Romney."

The blogs and media outlets ran with that line and immediately screeched that Nicki Minaj had betrayed her largely minority and liberal fan base.

Except she already claimed to be chilling with zombies in that same verse and for some reason, no one took that seriously. Go figure.

The Village Voice did a brilliant takedown of the whole "Nicki Minaj endorsed Mitt Romney" ridiculousness, so head over there and read it if you feel like hemming and hawing over what should be an obvious example of hyperbole.

The rest of us (including Nicki Minaj superfan Senator Marco Rubio) would like to get back to dissecting Nicki's spectacular verse on "Mercy."

Listen to Nicki's guest verse on Lil' Wayne's new track below