1 CARLY RAE JEPSEN / CALL ME MAYBE
- So this is definitely a sign that the Antichrist is coming, right?
2 GOTYE FEAT KIMBRA / SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
- Gotye doesn't say it, but the records that she took back that he's pissed about are his Boy George albums.
3 MAROON 5 FEAT WIZ KHALIFA / PAYPHONE
- Has Adam Levine never heard of calling collect? He better call Tyrone.
4 FUN. FEAT JANELLE MONAE / WE ARE YOUNG
- How do you let a song know it's overstayed its welcome? Cause this one's about to get a disinvite from the Hot 100.
5 ONE DIRECTION / WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
- These guys are abusing peer pressure and that "everyone does it" line of thinking to push this girl into letting her hair down. Shame.
6 NICKI MINAJ / STARSHIPS
- So can Taylor Swift give this song her blessing and push it up to #1?
7 FLO RIDA FEAT SIA / WILD ONES
- Flo Rida has knocked out so many dance tracks that his heart has been replaced with a synth machine.
8 RIHANNA / WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
- Rihanna must've enjoyed "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" cause on that hide'n'seek tip.
9 KATY PERRY / WIDE AWAKE
- This song would be more appropriately titled, "Dead Asleep." It's boring.
10 JUSTIN BIEBER / BOYFRIEND
- If Bieber wants to convince that he can be a gentleman, he's going to have to drop "swaggy" from his vocabulary.
SOURCE: Billboard Hot 100